'~ ayishah's heaven ~'

seesh.. my head has been aching since morning.. my nose was bleeding and i feel like floating, sleepy and feverish.

.. i want to sleep but i'm already dressed up for church and should be off an hour later.  i just plugged my earphones to keep myself from hearing some peeving, battling riffle rounds of a housemate..

please goddess of time.. help me and grant me some more to sleep.. zzzz..

i wish i could go travelling again
it feels like the summer will never end..
and i have such good offers from several of my friends

i wish i could travelling again..

i want to sit in the shade sipping my latte
beneath the awning of a famous cafe
jetlagged with our luggage gone astray :0

i wish i could go travelling again..

i want the waiter to give us a reprimand
in a language that neither of us understand
while we argue about the customs of the land

i wish i could go travelling again

i wanna sit in traffic anxious about our plane
while your blase comments drive me half insane!
i wanna dash for shelter with you through the tropical rain

i wish i could go travelling again

i want to wake in a faulty fire alarm
in an overpriced hotel devoid of charms..
the fall asleep again, back in your arms

i wish i could go travelling again!

but how.. can i ever
go travelling again?
when i know i'll just ... keep remembering again
when i know i'll just ... be gathering again
reminders to break my heart...

*rinka

i started watching this japanese series after seeing Peach perfomed on Music Station. Then discovered it's an ending song for a tv show - hanakimi .. labo no.. so i watched it.  After seeing just the first episode, i already got hooked on the show.. super cute kasi and less stressful panoorin kesa ibang series or soaps na napapanood ko.  (Cute pa ni Toma Ikuta.. hehe)

I thought i was the only one following the series then after a week , two officemates of mine said they're watching it too..  yup.. they're one of those fanatics na nagt-tiyaga rin palang mag antay ng upload ng series na to sa crunchyroll?

then almost 6 months later (after finishing the series), i almost jumped when i heard the Peach song .. in TV? and yes i was shocked when i saw... a commercial about hanakimi showing on GMA!

and yes.. im late about the news..it's all over the net.. blogs, forums.. heck.  at least they're showing it! (egsayted na me)

story:

it is about Mizuki Ashiya, a Japanese girl who lives in the United States. One day, she sees a track and field competition on TV, and becomes attracted to one of the competitors, Izumi Sano, competing in the high jump. She begins to idolize the young athlete and eventually transfers to Japan to attend the same school that Sano attends. There is a catch, however -- Sano attends an all-boys high school, named Osaka Gakuen, and Mizuki must disguise herself as a boy to enter.

the story revolves around her i mean him now studying in this all-boys school and having Sano as a roommate as well as poor Nakatsu who fell in love with her and ended up thinking he's a gay (well if you're having a crush on a guy.. watcha think?)

this is one of my fave scenes

mizuki wears a princess costume in a magic show.. then..

ayan.. mejo nadisappoint lang ako.. before 24 oras pala ito ipapalabas.. kainis! di ko maaabutan!

LET'S PLAY!

Directions:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?--> So Yesterday - Hilary duff ( haha.. yeah!)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?--> one and only you - parokya ni edgar
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?--> Walking Contradict - Green day ( lolz.. addict!! yo!)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?--> Wherever you Are - Southborder ( *sniff *homesick)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?--> Words - boyzone (can it be any broader??)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?--> If i dont have you - BSB (if i dont have u to hold on to, i cant go on this world alone..)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?--> Have You Ever - sclub7 (have you 'ever' eat.. sleep? ever says nope.. hahaha)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?--> All i want for xmas is You - Mariah Carey (yeah it's in the air!!)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?--> Take my Breath Away - Emma Bunton (well yeah.. maths make me squeeky sometimes)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?--> Ewan - Imago (HAHAHAHAHAH!! peace dude!)
WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?--> Let your hair down - Corrine Bailey Rae (nice one!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?--> Chopsuey - System of a down (well i like cooking though haven't tried chopsuey)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?--> No ordinary Love - J.L. Hewitt (falling in love?)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?--> Can't fight the Moonlight - Leann Rimes (haha.. well i tried fighting the sun before..)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?--> Hohoemi No Bakuda - yuyu hakusho (lost in translation?)
WHAT WOULD YOU BRING ON A DESERT ISLAND?--> Angel - the Corrs (yes! pls take care of me! hahaha.. exactement!)
WHAT IS YOUR PET HATE?--> Buloy - Parokya ni Edgar (hahahaha! sakto again!)
IF YOU COULD CHANGE THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?--> Basket Case - Green Day (hmm well that's a better way of organizing things.. )

HOW ARE YOU FEELING AT THE MOMENT?--> Don't Matter - Akon (lolz.. bitter?)
DO YOU HATE ANYONE?--> I'll never break Your Heart - BSB (see.. im pro-peace!)
DOES ANYONE HATE YOU?--> My Love - Justin Timberlake (my love? thy hate me???)
BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP, WHO/WHAT DO YOU THINK OF?--> Everybody - BSB (no no no)
I AM...?--> Breathless - Corrine Bailey Rae (hahahaha.. oh-ha! oh-ha! i'm breathless!)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?--> Swept Away - Mandy Moore

i miss home..

my room,

my dog,

my anime show,

my dresser,

my mom,

my very obedient brother

and getting whacked up..by my sister.

 

lolz.. still? though duh im far far far away.

 

geez.. this is how i miss everyone :)

 

 

im here..

i was there

im gone yet..

so far

just wait

so long..

have faith.

yeah.. panicking.. how could i not sense that? it will be just a week left before i'll jump off to the "big" stuff.  i know it's a risk im taking.. (diddle diddle.. why oh why did i accepted it??)  and i know i'd bang my head on the wall someday regretting why i went on this direction instead of accepting rather a nice offer (somewhere out out there..).  where's my brain? why did i have to get through this again? maybe it's because im used to being hard on myself that i take more and more stones to hit my airy head.

please please please.. help me get through this.  how could i?

just yesterday i thought having my hair cut this short.. @*#@&*$@.

yeah short! but i don't think it will suit my face...hmm. crop. crap.

anyways just yesterday i've been quite curious bout me.. if im indeed a girlalush (hey greeny willowy seaweed.. not that curious!)

ok.. here's why.

uno.

 when u inspect a girls bag, it should have a lipstick (or lipgloss at least), a face powder, comb/brush, hand sanitizer or cologne, hair band, a pretty wallet, a minibag for kikay stuff, a mini notebook (perfumed), umbrella, cellphone.. and did i mentioned a small mirror? - my inventory is modest... it's a fact. im not exaggerating!

but mine.. you'll find only an umbrella, a purse, a cellphone, an ipod and a gameboy micro (well yeah?! i play those stuff.. there's no instructions that it needs a male dna to work..)   i don't know but for obvious reasons, a bag is a bag for necessities..  - my inventory is ehem.. realistic.  if it's not raining, i just have a sweater with packets and dont bring a bag at all.

dos

 they said that only girls group themselves and go to restrooms together. - it's a fact... but based from my experience, they just pamper themselves them and do some gossiping and comparing makeup brands (which one suits my skintone???)

well practically i just go on my own.  just to simply brush my teeth and leave.  giving me 15 mins free of gossiping... yikes i hate it!!

tres

yeah talking of gossiping, i'd rather talk to guys than girls.  i usually have a more 'meaningful' conversations with the opposite sex than girls.  well coz hello?? what will u benefit with constant whining about hair falls, cute guys, carbo-free diet.. gosh please free me from dumb blondes.. ehem brunettes.

quatro

i simply hate people who waste my time waiting.  and girls usually have this sick attitude.. they prepare long, they have rituals and they can't decide.

just a suggestion, if you're looking for a restaurant and starving with you're girlfriend, dont ask her about any suggestions..  or you'll die of hunger.

sinco

sorry.. maybe some people might react or so. but i just hate people who are good chameleons.. and i see more from the girls. seesh.. forgive me!

@feminist!!! tsk, tsk,

This love

“Ai ga areba heiwa da” to
Dareka ga kuchi ni shiteita
Unazuku hito mo ireba, utagau hito mo iru

Kurushimi ga aru kara koso
Anata wo dakishimeru toki
Sono ude no yasashi sa wo
Heiwa to kanjiru no deshou

Aru toki kara mukuchi ni nari kokoro wo shimekiri
Kono koi ga hikisakare sou ni natta

Kasaneta kono te wo
Kondo wa hanasa nai
Shinjiru chikara ga
Ai wo jiyuu ni suru

Yuujou ni sukuwaretari,
Mirai wo souzou shitari
Shiawase wa mieru keredo
Jibun wo miru koto wa nai

Yakusoku to iu watashi-tachi no konpasu dakedewa
Kono koi wa hougaku wo miushinau no

Kiseki wo matsu yori
Kono te wo tsunagitai
Shinjiru chikara ga
Watashi wo jiyuu ni suru

Kono koi wo osorezu ni
You don’t have to fear this love, this love...

Translation:

I heard someone say
“If there is love, there’s peace”
and one may agree with that, or not

Whenever I was in pain
you’d hold me closely
And it was in the warmth of those
arms that I felt peace

But then I you stopped talking to you and closed
off my heart, this love was torn apart

*This time I don’t
let go off my heart
Because the power of belief
will set love free

When you helped me as a friend
I imagined our future together
And though I saw happiness in store for us
I did’t see my own issues

Though our we said our promises would be our compass
we lost sight of the direction this love was going in

**Instead of waiting for a miracle
I want you to hold onto my hand
Because the power of belief
will set me free

You don’t have to fear this love
You don’t have to fear this love,this love

i have 3 blessings to count this day..

1) bye-bye braces - after one year, 2 months and 12 days.. i'm finally goodbye ugly braces.  however, it's now hello retainers... well at least their thinner?

2) the last customer - finding an open bank during weekends is a luck but being able to get in before it closes is an additional luck!  Well here's what happened - ehem.   from the dentist i need to travel for almost an hour to go to the bank and alas.. just a few seconds away from closing, the guard allowed me in and i was the only person there having a bank transaction..

3) squid and potatoes - missed it when i had my braces but now i can gulp in my fave squid and potato balls without worrying it getting stuck in front of my braces.

**wink.. ok it's obviously nothing for someone but hey.. im just a lolly girl easily swayed into happINess :)

just got a new hobby.. customized theme setting..

well.. see my new page? isszzn't gorgeous?

right!?

a friend once told me.. if someone asks - "how are you?",   it's polite to respond with - "i'm fine" since they're hoping the best for you and whatever you do..

but for the past few days, i think i rarely do feel to say "i'm fine" to anyone since i'm not -

but i'm not broke, i'm not lonely, definitely not abused.. these are things that i kept on pushing on my mind to say that i'm ok..

but still.. it doesn't sink in.

just then i assessed.. should it be that i didn't love myself?

but i bought things that made me happy, i watched tv shows that made laugh, i listened to songs that envigorates me, i chat to friends who are fascinating, i do work that's not boring.

and then i stopped..

since when did i do those things that seem to be trivial but so important to me before? or did something for someone and not just for myself? i think..

i miss preparing a good meal for everyone in the morning..

i miss having a good time with my brother while playing badminton

i miss bathing my pet and walk her around till sunset

i miss having a good long conversation with my mom

... i miss being ME.

i must have gone through many places, hardships and changes.. but it must have not changed ME..

... i miss being ME.